The "Milk Truck" has retired

This month has brought the most changes for Colt & I. The milk truck as carl likes to call me is no longer. After 5 months of breastfeeding and Colton only getting breastmilk he is now on formula with a little bit of my milk from my frozen stash in the freezer.

Its a blessing to be able to breastfeed your baby. Not all moms can do it whether by choice or their bodies just cant keep up with the constant demand of the baby. I fortunately was able to breastfeed exclusively for the first 2 months of his life. Once I had to return to work he would get bottles of my milk that I had pumped and frozen. It was a demanding struggle every day. I hated breastfeeding sometimes and the battle of when I should stop or the up and down waves of my supply etc.

I was always questioning my supply and if he was getting enough. Every time I would leave him and he would get a bottle and for some reason would spit it up I would get so upset. I don't think anyone that hasn't gone through breastfeeding knows how much that milk means to you. Its like liquid gold. That bag in the freezer represents the hard work that you as a mom went through in order to even produce it. It have your boobs full enough to attach a machine to them and pump out all your hard work is an awesome moment. Whether that moment was a 2am or not its still so relieving to add another bag to that freezer

Breastfeeding was even more of challenge for me because of my sons allergy to milk and his acid reflux. Which meant I could no longer eat my favorite foods. That on top of no sleep meant for an extremely difficult adjustment for me. As the weeks went on Colton spit up less and less and I grew more accustomed to my new diet.

I enjoyed feeding my son and being the main source of his development. There is such pride in being able to produce milk and feed your baby. The human body is truly an amazing thing and I found that I had so much more confidence as a woman and mother due to the fact that I could feed my son this way. There's something so primal about breastfeeding and how a woman's body changes.

Looking back now I had a goal of 6 months. That's when I wanted to stop feeding him and wean him onto the formula. But he began to get solid foods and realized that there was quicker and easier ways other then me to get fed and be full. So he became less and less interested in me. Plus he began to get two teeth as well. I knew going in as soon as teeth began to pop out I wanted to be done anyway. So at 5 1/2 months I stopped breastfeeding him. We still give him breastmilk from the stash but mixed with the soy formula. He's also eating solids too. He loves prunes, peaches, pears, sweet potatoes, and carrots. We still have yet to try any meats but we are getting there.

I must say I cried when I realized he wouldn't look to just me anymore for the comfort of my milk but it also brings me joy to have even been able to provide milk at all for him for 5 months of his life. It feels so satisfying to have done what I did for my son. I never imagined breastfeeding would be so difficult or create so many challenges but it was worth every sleepless night.

To be able to wear my old shirts again and not have to run and hide in a room for an hour by yourself to feed your baby is a new experience. I can now go places and not worry about how much milk was used or wasted if he spit up. Having him on formula has given me so much of my freedom back. Freedom I will never take for granted again.

So for all the mamas out there struggling with breastfeeding you are amazing and don't ever forget it.